Clothes Make The Woman

By Ronald Ayers

Columnist Ronald Ayers

Columnist Ronald Ayers

Men and women are doing more things the same in our society these days. However, there is still a big difference in their attitudes toward clothes and the way they dress. You never know what a woman is going to wear. You always have a good idea what a man is going to wear.

On any given day a jock man will have on a baseball cap, a football jersey, a pair of jeans, and some kind of designer gymn shoes like Air Jordan’s.

A business man will wear a double breasted Edwardian suite, with a matching tie that sports a diamond stickpin, a handkerchief in the suite coat pocket, and a pair of highly polished Edwin Clapp Alligator shoes.

You could safely say that clothes make the man. I mean, you can know a man by the clothes he wears. I mean if you saw a man walking down the street with his pants hanging off his butt and his underwear showing, you’d be right in saying there goes a punk, a thug, a gangbanger.

With women, things are always different.

Today, clothes don’t make a woman. I’d say it’s the lack of clothes that makes a woman.

Alexis Texas on Stage in Her Silver Booty Shor...

Alexis Texas on Stage in Her Silver Booty Shorts at the Adult Expo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Take for example Booty Shorts. You’ve seen them. Booty Shorts are those really, really short shorts some women wear that barely cover the cheeks of their behinds. I just love them. Any woman that wears Booty Shorts in public is bound to get attention. Booty Shorts are just the kind of lack of clothing that for me, makes a real woman. Booty Shorts are for the outgoing, aggressive woman whose not afraid to let the world take a long look at her as she’s walking away.

Then there’s the thong.

Thongs are clothing for shy women. Thongs are for women who can’t make up their minds about whether or not they should wear underwear. Shy women, who can’t bring themselves to wear Booty Shorts in public, wear thongs in private. I bought my girl friend a pair of Booty Shorts. She refused to wear them. I got her a thong, and she was happy to parade around the house in her hot pink thongs for me. Wow! A pink thong panty on the ass of a black woman is something wonderful to see! Man! I thought I’d see pigs flying backwards before my girl would agree to put a piece of pink string up her ass.

English: Sunrise, Florida, USA Deutsch: Junge ...

English: Sunrise, Florida, USA Deutsch: Junge blonde Frau in einem weißen, ultraknappen Bikini (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Women. You can’t figure them out.

Have you ever noticed how many panties women have? Women have many more panties than men have underwear.

I have three pair of underwear that I change during a week. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t come in contact with a lot of women’s panties but I do read the ads in the Sunday paper like everyone else, and I’m amazed at the variety of panties women have to choose from. It’s no wonder it takes a woman longer to dress than for the average man. Just for a woman to decide which panties to take out of her drawer would use up two hours. I could have my underwear, shirt and pants on in ten minutes.

Here’s the thing that confuses me about women.

Why is it that women nowadays will spend a fortune on clothes like long skirts, coats, and boots—clothes designed to cover them up from head to toe?

When a woman comes out of the house she knows she’s going to put on a blouse that shows gapping amounts of succulent cleavage. She knows she’s going to wear a mini skirt so short, that she can’t afford to bend over without exposing her family jewel. She knows she’s going to sport a pair of Booty Shorts that will expose the corpulent beauty of her backside.

A women knows all of this right? So why don’t women  cut their clothing budgets in half? Just come out the house half naked and give me the money she saves on clothing so I can spend most of my working day under a cold shower?