It’s great to have a smart kid

 By Ronald Ayers

Columnist: Ronald Ayers
Columnist: Ronald Ayers

It’s great to have a smart kid. But have you ever noticed that smart kids can either get you in trouble or that they are sometimes to smart for their own good.

My son Ron comes home yesterday with a note from his eighth grade teacher. The note says I should:

“Wash his mouth out with soap and give his brain a frontal lobotomy.”

Ron goes to a Catholic elementary school that still has nuns. Yesterday Sister Gertrude asked Ron.

“Why is your cat sitting on your desk today Ron?”

Ron started crying.

“Because my dad told my mom this morning that he was going to eat that pussy once I left for school.”

I went to Catholic school. I learned a lot. That’s why I keep my son in Catholic school. I want him to be smart.
Yesterday Sister Gertrude is teaching math. She sees that Ron isn’t paying attention. So she asked him.

“If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”

Ron said:

“None.”

Sister Gertrude asked.

“Why?”

Ron said:

“Because the shot scared them all off.”

Sister Gertrude said.

“No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”

To show how smart he is, Ron asks Sister Gertrude.

“If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?

Sister Gertrude says.

“The one sucking her ice cream.”

Ron says.

“No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking sister.”

My wife Ann and I want Ron to go to a very expensive, very prestigious Catholic high school with outstanding academic credentials. Ann and I figure we’ll get Ron a computer so he can use the Internet for his research, and his home work. I was trying to set up a new password for the computer so I used.

“MyPenis.”

Annie falls on the floor laughing because on the computer screen it says.

“Error! Not long enough!”

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